2017 was a hell of a year. I think I’ve found who I want to be & who I want to be surrounded by. Here are the things I’ve learned that got me to where I am this day in this year.
1. Let go of toxic people – even if they were once the closest friend you had. I had a lot of trouble trying to let go of people who changed, had different outlooks than me, or treated me badly. Most of them were close friends at one point and I just couldn’t stand them but I also couldn’t unfriend them. Deep down, when I saw their name, I was filled with bad memories but when I tell myself I should let go of them, I am flooded with good memories. Those good memories never overcame the bad ones, so why did I still try to hold onto the friendship? They hurt me in ways I wouldn’t have hurt them, or they just didn’t put effort into the friendship but always blamed me for it. I decided it’s time to let go. I was holding onto the past instead of the present. I kept thinking of how they hurt me and it was a constant reminder every time I saw or heard their name. Unfollowing them on social medias was the best decision because once I hit unfollowed, I would no longer be in contact with them or see how they’re doing. I don’t see their name everyday and it was such a relief. It was probably the best decision for me mental health wise!
2. DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, NOT WHAT YOU THINK OTHERS WANT OR WHAT WILL MAKE YOU “BETTER” THAN OTHERS. This was the biggest thing I’ve learned this year. BIGGEST. And the most important lesson for myself + my future! I grew up thinking I wanted to be a doctor, because I grew up in a traditional Asian family + culture. It’s either a doctor, dentist, or a lawyer. Nothing else mattered. I had that engraved into my head since birth… probably even since I was a little egg. Lol I don’t know. But I pursued it all the way into my third year of College. I worked at a hospital and I saw myself there, because I liked the hierarchy. I liked how it sounded when I say “I want to be a doctor.” I liked how it sounded when I said I’m a pre-med student. It felt so prestigious and everyone was always impressed that I felt that it was what I wanted due to status. I realized it wasn’t what I wanted when I took away the status of it. I wanted to do something different. I wanted to do something “more.” “More” meant something that wasn’t the norm. I didn’t want to sit and diagnose patients all day. I was just interested in the medical jargon and the human body – nothing more. I wanted to help others in a different way. I still haven’t realized what that way is yet, but I know I’m not interested in being a doctor and I don’t know if I ever was. I think the status of pursuing / being a doctor was what I was really interested in. So I took that big step and dropped all of my pre med courses. I took courses that spiked my interests and it was the best decision I’ve made, school wise. I felt like I was creating my future, instead of living in the one my family created for me. It was definitely hard to come to this decision and realization, but it’s the best epiphany.
3. Have the mindset of who is good enough for you, instead of if you’re good enough for them. Why would you have to worry if you’re good enough for them? If you’re worrying about that, chances are, it’s not gonna be a healthy friendship/relationship. However, when I mean “if they’re good enough for you,” I don’t mean be shallow. I mean know what you deserve. Don’t settle for less – even on friendships. If you think your friends are rude and do not care for you, drop them. They’re not good enough for you. They’re not good for you.
4. Be kind to others. I know this isn’t really a lesson, but it’s a reminder. You don’t know what anyone is going through constantly. They may look as if they got their life together, but in reality that might not be the case. Just treat them with kindness because you never know if that’ll make a difference in the length of their life.
5. It’s okay to have a mentor or to ask for help. If you’re confused, ask a question. Don’t just keep it to yourself and hope you’ll figure it out when someone next to you might know the answer. I learned a lot of things this year from my boyfriend, Jose. He basically taught me everything I wrote for this post. I would always go to him when I’m confused or need an opinion about something. Don’t let your pride or ego prevent you from reaching out / asking for help.