Life to Live

Marriage after four months?

Usually, when I hear that someone is already married after four months of meeting + dating their s/o, I think that they are marrying because they want to have sex, or because they feel like they need to already be married – because what’s the rush? Are you marrying them because you want to spend forever with them? Or are you marrying them because of lust? Or that you’re running out of time? We’re humans. We are sexual creatures. We listen to society. It makes sense why someone would wed so they can finally lose their virginity with their partner, or to just have a husband/wife. However, that’s not what being married is for. You shouldn’t put a ring on it just so you two can finally have sex, without “sinning.” You shouldn’t marry someone because those comments of “when are you going to get married?” got to you. Marriage is for those who are truly in love, after the “honeymoon” phase. That’s what Jose and I call it. It’s when you’re so in love that you’re blinded by everything. You see past things you don’t like about the relationship and just shrug it off. You put them before anyone else, and you start to ignore what other people tell you about them. You want to spend forever with them, because you think you know who they are already, even though you don’t. How can you possibly know everything about a person within four months? And how do you know they won’t change within the next few months to someone you don’t like? I’ve known people who have dated for almost two years and they broke up. Both of them changed so much that they weren’t dating the same person they started the relationship with. Also, with time, you realize what you deserve and you finally see how they are treating you. If you’ve met and dated them for a total of four months, you know they can handle you for four months, but can they handle you for a year? or two? Can they put up with your most annoying habits for that long? Can you put up with theirs? Also, can you soley  keep your attention on them after a year or two? Will they get bored of you and leave?

Sometimes, when I see wedding pictures, I want to get married. I want my own lavish wedding, with cute engagement photos. I want to go say yes to the dress and pick out my wedding cake. I want to write my vows and I want a wedding ring. I’m just having wedding fever, I remind myself – just like how people have baby fever or bieber fever. I then realize there isn’t going to be anything different when we get married. Sure, we might move in together and I’ll have his last name, but what else is different? We’ll still love each other the same. We’ll still see each other the same way.  I’m already seen as family in his family’s POV, and he’s already seen as family in mine. So why rush?

We’ve been dating for about two and a half years, and I’m still learning new things about him. Take time to truly know them. If they really are your soulmate, they’ll always be there, even if you guys aren’t married.

-jd

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